Freedom from EX-DOM!!

Freedom Dance by Laurie Cooper

A while back, I told you guys that my ex boyfriend lives here in Augusta. We have been talking for like a couple of weeks, and I was feeling particularly horny so I told him where I live so he can come over. So, he comes over. He was looking straight BUSTED! I mean eww! The nice smooth skin I used to like, was all ashy looking, although I love Chocolate brothers, he looked like Blue Black. Definately the rose colored glassed have been removed and I saw what my friends saw when they saw him. I could not believe, I thought my friends wanted him. Anyway, I told myself, he does not have to look good to do what I want. So, I played the coy, innocent games( that we all play, because women know if we are going to give it up or not from jump) until, I close my eyes and we kiss. Everything was so different. He tasted like cigarettes and bad breath. So I just laid on my back and pushed him downward. To get him to do what I really invited him over to do. He feisted on me for like five minutes and he put it in. I was thinking when we were together, your self game was horrible now its even worse! I really just wanted him to eat me out. That it, but he wanted SEX. I laid there bored as hell, then after a while of him not hitting on shit. He climaxes.

Then he says " OH sHIT"
i SAY "WHAT?"
HE says broke" the condom broke"
Now, I am furious!! I asked " where did you get it from?"
He says " the free clinic"
Me: You put that cheap shit, in me!! Then you FUCKING cum in ME!!
So, I said "ok, we will do PLAN B, and be alright, it will be about 50 dollars,you can give me half. 25 dollars
I should of expected what was coming next
Him: I dont have any money to be giving you, you have a job, I am broke
Me: Its the first of the month, didnt you just get your SSI check
Him: So
Me: Well, you have money!
Him: Cha Cha dont bother me about this
Now, if I would have had a gun I would have killed him.

In hind sight, I am glad he told me, but I just wish he learned some responsibility in this past year. This is where my light comes on in my mind, realizing I can not depend on this man, he does not love me, maybe never did, I deserve a Man, and he is not there yet. I was trying to make him into someone he is not. God was shining on me and teaching me a lesson.
AND ON top of that I had to take him home! I was fuming! I told his mother that I would bring him home, and although I have lost all respect for him. I do respect his mother, because she is my elder and I made her a promise. From then on, I told him " I dont want to know you anymore, if you see me dont say Hi, I am over you. We are strangers. If you come to my house,I will call the police on you. You will be thrown in jail.
He ask " If I grow up, then will you know me and want me"
I said "NO, you have lost your chance"

We sat on the drive home, sayng nothing. Lost in our thoughts. From that day, which was June 1, till today he has called me a total of twenty five times. An average of three per day.

The first messages were along the lines of, I am sorry, can I come over? For those days, I was in fear that he was coming over and I would have to call the police. But he did not come over. The second wave of messages are him asking me for SEX. Can we be cutty buddies? ( he had some nerve, to ask that!!) Now, finally he was has been saying " Cha, you know I love you, I am soo sorry if I hurt you!" You have broken my heart, in the bible it says to forgive! BLAH BLAH BLAH!


*****Update:
Well, a couple of days ago I got my period. So, I am definately through with him.. Thank God, he heard my prayers and plan B worked!!



What I have learned
I made excuses for this guy. I said " He is slow, he does not know what he is doing" I took this guy wants and needs over mine. This was not the first time, this has happen where he came in me and I asked him to be responsible. He would make an excuse or just say NO. I was niave, and I yearned for love. Some things, ladies we can not bend on. Being responsible and mature is not one of them.