The Battle of the Sexes

Case #1...While driving home from church with my Mom yesterday, I really had to go to the bathroom really Bad. And for some reason I thought about my ex boyfriend. He drove this raggedy rusty 1991 Nissan and I remember it because he used to keep bottles filled with his urine in the car. He was not young either, he was 36 when I knew him. He collected them. They used to be under the seat, in the trunk, they were everywhere for days on end or until they started to STANK. He told me sometimes on the way to work or home, he have to go to the restroom and instead of stopping, he urinated in the bottles. Gross, I know!!

He also kept them in his bedroom! He rented a room with this old lady and it was only ONE bathroom, so he urinated in the bottles. And some times he said, he did not want to get up out of bed!!

Now, Ladies..!! This guy was a walking contradiction. Because he had a killer swag!! Like he could dress anyone over and under the table. He also smelled very nice. He wore the lastest and newest cologne for men. He made me up my game a bit! So, he was not a slob! I just could not understand this!!

Case#2..

Any lady that has lived with a Man, HAS had this Battle. I call it the BATTLE of the Toilet Seat!! My last boyfriend and I lived together for about two years. And for the LIFE of me, i COULD not get him to put the TOILET SEAT DOWN! I bribed, I begged, I pleaded, I did everything! It would work for a couple of days and then after a week, its back to the same routine. Now, Im a clean person..AND it is crucial for me to have a clean bathroom. I would clean the toilet bowl out, around the seat cover and rim, and the next day....the rim of the toilet seat and the top of the bowl... is back dirty!! I would ask him to clean it, and he would say "how I know its not yours?? I always wipe the bowl when Im done... cause you be trippin!" he then adds "C, instead of arguing.. what about we compromise, you leave the toilet seat up! Thats what, my sister and her husband does!" I said "HELL NO, the toilet seat goes down!" We argue for like ten minutes, not solving a damn thing!

The next morning I wake up around 5am, and go into the bathroom, sit down..and yeah. SPLASH!!! Directly into the toilet water!! Eww! Now, I am at a dilema here, I am dog tired and have exams at 9am, do I take a bath or have toilet water on my ass? I wished. I could get his peaceful sleeping ass up.. cause Im up! And it was his fault!! I took the shower, but the next afternoon, I gave him hell about it!!

Case #3

This did not happen to me but happen to a friend of mine. She is a clean person like I am. And her main problem is her husband lack of control when it comes to urinating. He has NO aim!! At 35, he does not have any aim! She hates cause they bathroom smell like piss after he is finished. I thought guys learned to aim at 4 years old!! And what is funny is....He used to get urine on the CEILING!! Yea, there used to be brown piss stains on her ceiling!! How does one accomplish that, I wonder?? He must be very Blessed!!

Does ANYONE else have any Funny Stories to Share???